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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Tessa Niles' LiveJournal:

Monday, June 23rd, 2003
9:17 am
I have begun aiding my Sensei in his Tuesday and Thursday night classes. They are mid-range level, belt-wise -- which means anyone above white belt, but below black can join, essentially -- and I did not realize how tiring it was going to be. However, Sensei has said I am doing an excellent job. I plan on continuing to help him, of course.

Stacy and I had an argument. On the exact night I came back from the aforementioned class, in fact. Well, not truly an argument. She was yelling, I was not raising my voice. The emotional progress I made with her and Kieran really meant something to her, and she is troubled that it seems I have ignored that progress. It was a long conversation into the night, but everything is all right. I knew it would be. We just needed to talk things through.

On the same topic, Stacy has a plan for getting Scott and Jean together. I do not think she realizes that "hitting on" Scott will make him move towards Jean. It may backfire. Now, I am not the most knowledgeable individual when it comes to the random behaviour patterns of humanity, but I do believe this is not the way to do things. I will have to talk to Scott and Jean, and then Stacy, myself. As a third party. I do not wish to see Stacy ruin things for Scott; I felt the guilt pouring from his mind after I learned he and Stacy had kissed. It would not be good for her to continue her attentions. Jean might decide Scott is not worth the trouble.

Last night, I went downstairs to get myself something to drink, and I ran into a girl in the kitchen. Her name is Hazel. I believe she may be a mutant... or at least, the very concept of mutantcy was explained to her. She has apparently seen Miss Munroe utilize her powers in some fashion, and was not overly surprised by them. Of course, while I was speaking to her, a headache started to grow just "behind" my forehead. That is what I am basing this thought on -- that she is a mutant. If this "mutant sense" of mine is truly, truly correct, then the headache would seem to be a way of telling me I was near one.

On the other hand, of course, it could have been a coincidence. I shall have to speak with her again to see if she triggers a headache. If so, then I know my theory is correct.
Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
9:11 pm
My birthday was yesterday. I caved in and told Stacy about it. She and some of the others took me out to dinner. That was appreciated. I do hope Jamie, Damien, Jareth, and Scott did not feel too overwhelmed by all the girls present.

I surprised everyone by telling them of the languages I am able to understand. Ah, the benefits of my memory.

Stacy went off to see her new.. boyfriend? .. companion. She seemed to try to tell me she wasn't, but I picked up the thoughts. And she stayed overnight. I do wish she would stay home a little more often. I do miss her company. Does she know that? I don't think she does. I have tried speaking to her about it, but... it has not been successful. I suppose, now that I have people in my life I consider friends, I wish to see more of them. Stacy is my roommate. My.. best friend? ...And I see so little of her.

Kieran has been missing for several days. He had told me he had a lot of school work to catch up on, and I encouraged him to do so. That was well over a week ago, however. I cannot worry, so I leave that to Stacy. It is somewhat bizarre to not be in his company, either.

So once again I am alone. This... does not surprise me. Everything suffers from impermanence. Everything.

Except for being alone.

I purchased new books. More of Robert Jordan's 'The Wheel of Time' series. I am now on the fifth book of the series. I promised Amara I would loan her the first of the series, which is what I intend to do. I will be dropping off the first -- 'The Eye of the World' -- once I am finished writing in here. I do hope she enjoys it.
Friday, June 6th, 2003
1:07 am
My birthday is coming up. The tenth of June. I have yet to tell Stacy and Kieran the exact date. I do not believe it is important. Nor do I think I will tell them.

Why?

I wish to spend my birthday alone. No interruptions. I have always spent my birthday alone. It is... my custom. I cannot ruin it or change it now. That would eliminate a personal custom and tradition. No. Truly.

I attempt to lie to myself, it seems. What little good it would do me. Stacy is once more off with that boy who opened my locker for me. Shinobi. I imagine she will return will stories of him once more. I cannot say I look forward to them. Truthfully, it is as though her attention is divided between us, and that this... boy has an easier time of gaining most of it for himself. I have barely said more than a sentence to Stacy over the course of the last few days. Again, she is out with Shinobi. Such is her choice.

Not that I have seen Kieran, either. I presume he is occupied with his studies -- or rather, I would prefer he is occupied with his studies. It would... please me. Yes. That is the right word. It would do him some good to engross himself in his studies. Do well in class.

I will return to my book, once more. Perhaps my roommate will come home shortly, and regale me with her stories.

Perhaps.
Monday, June 2nd, 2003
12:29 pm
Thursday, May 29th, 2003
10:37 am
I got Stacy and Kieran to participate in a Danger Room session, so they could see what it was like. I think they both were intrigued by the uniform I chose for myself. Not a surprise, really. They seemed a little confused about codenames -- they stared at me for a few moments when they heard me call myself 'Sage'.

When Kieran came into the room last night, to talk with Stacy and I, he was upset about Rahne running away. I assured him all would be well. Then we spoke of codenames and uniforms. Kieran has chosen 'Requiem' as his codename, and Stacy has chosen 'XStacy', based on the suggestion I gave her. I promised them both I would aid them in fashioning uniforms.

Scott indicated he wished to talk to me. But he has not sought me out yet. I believe he went to New York City, to search for Rahne. Perhaps he'll come speak with me once he has returned. We shall see.

Until then, I am reading The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. One of the few fantasy series that I will indulge in for entertainment value. I do enjoy the author's writing, although it is easy to guess where his inspiration has come from. No matter, it still works very well.

Which reminds me, my next order from Bay Books should be in today. I'll go check on that, today.
Tuesday, May 20th, 2003
11:36 pm
The situation between myself, Kieran, and Stacy has been resolved. We're all better for it, too, I'd like to think.

I went to the party held by Emma Frost a few days past. However, my headaches went out of control; Stacy and Scott returned me to the mansion before they got too bad. If the Professor and Jean's theory concerning my headaches is correct, that means that a good portion (at least) of those at the party were mutants. I have never felt pain that intense before. And it was all triggered when that 'Dazzler' popstar performed some kind of light show.

I must speak to the Professor about this, of course.

I promised Scott I would have a meal with him. Dinner or lunch. I tried to make him understand my inability to experience emotions like other individuals would not make me good 'relationship material'. He seemed to accept that, but he still wanted to go to know me. I accepted. I haven't been given a request like that before.
Saturday, May 17th, 2003
10:37 am
I have accepted Scott's offer to go the party with him. We will be taking my car, and bringing along Kitty, Justin, and Evan. My car has more room than Scott's, it seems.

Curiously, as I was speaking with Scott, he kept thinking of the uniform I wear during Danger Room training sessions. He kept smiling everytime the thought came to him. He finds the uniform... attractive? Appealling? I did not delve into his mind to a further degree to find out.

Kieran put a note on my bed. He wishes to talk to me. ...I have a feeling everything will become extremely complicated rather soon.

As it stands, my knowledge of social interaction is rather limited. I am taking Jean's advice and agreeing that things must be experienced, rather than read. But it is.. difficult to know how something will go. Situations do not always go as they show in books. How I wish they did.
Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
9:21 am
News.
Kieran was accepted into the Institute. Now we have to get Stacy to speak with Professor Xavier. All should go well, I hope.

I need to speak to Jean. I must speak with her about... dating. Boys. I have not the slightest clue what to do. Jean was right, I suppose. Sometimes, book learning cannot substitute for experience in the real thing.

Why must I ask Jean for help? For advice? Because, quite simply, I need her permission first, before her advice. Why? Scott Summers has asked me out to a party a friend of his is throwing. I know Jean cares for Scott, even if she is dating Sam Guthrie. It is correct to ask for permission in such an occasion, is it not? I have not yet accepted the invitation. I must ask Jean what is expected of one during a date. I need to know.
Sunday, May 11th, 2003
8:19 am
Everything is all right now. Stacy and I are no longer on bad terms due to Kieran. We've even begun hanging around one another after classes. Kieran stays with us, of course. I'm the designated driver, it seems, as the only one with a driver's license. I do not mind at all.

We've planned a trip to Atlantic City this summer. At least, such is the plan. It would be interesting, nonetheless.

Stacy is a mutant. I didn't mention that before because I was not sure until now. She has the ability to... to what? Sense emotions? Alter body chemistry? I do not know what it would be called. I told her about the Institute. She is definately interested, but unsure as to how her abilities would be trained. I told her Professor Xavier would find a way.
Sunday, May 4th, 2003
12:36 am
I have finished my uniform. Miss Munroe saw it today when she put me through a training session in the Danger Room. Admittedly, I was under the impression she would say a word against it (I bought a leather bodysuit and made alterations to it), but there was nothing.

The session was called 'Hotel in Rome'. Apparently, the purpose of the exercise to make the individuals in it to realize it is a lost cause to continue fighting the forces there, and to retreat when the soonest opportunity presents itself. Miss Munroe was amazed that I followed her orders so quickly after she gave them. I am not. After all, she has more combat experience than I do.

After the session, she explained to me the exist of a team who has views which are diametrically opposed to Xavier's Institute. They are known as the Brotherhood, and believe in Mutantkind's superiority over Humanity. They are (or, rather, were) lead by a male mutant named Magneto -- capable of manipulating magnetic fields -- and a female mutant named Mystique -- a shapeshifter -- both of which are to be considered extremely dangerous. It seems that the individuals in Bayville High School whose minds are protected from my abilities belong to this Brotherhood.

I admitted to Miss Munroe that I am incapable of feeling emotion. She said she envied me for my ability to perceive logic, and to perceive all sides, all possibilities, to any situation.

I was unsure how to reply to that.

Current Mood: contemplative
Thursday, May 1st, 2003
11:20 am
After speaking with Dina last night, I have settled on a codename. When I go to one of these training sessions in the Danger Room, I will use it for the first time.

I am Sage.
Wednesday, April 30th, 2003
11:17 am
I talked to Professor Xavier again. I accepted his offer. My parents phoned him and they had a long discussion. He won't tell me about what, but as my parents are still talking to me, it can only be good.

I'm sharing a room with that Jean Grey girl. She apologized for threatening me. She's actually rather nice once you get to know her. She was explaining to me the idea of codenames and uniforms, which sounds interesting. I have to figure out a codename for myself. I have no idea at the moment.

My headaches are getting worse now. Jean says it may be a reaction to being around so many mutants. She showed me how to make a shield in my mind to block out the stray thoughts I often pick up without meaning to. It helps, but the headaches are still there. Perhaps I'll go speak with Professor Xavier and find out what his opinion may be.

I also met one of the instructors here. His name is Logan. Interesting individual. He has these metal claws which come from the back of his hand, and they're made from adamantium. Truly interesting. He is also able to heal quite quickly. Very interesting.

I may just like it here.
Sunday, April 27th, 2003
8:24 am
In other news: Kieran is a thief. A pickpocket.

I found him in the park two nights ago, practicing his craft. He offered me a silver ring, claiming he didn't want to pay the "overly high" commission on it. That fencing it would cost him too much.

He was lying. He had to pay a commission for it, but it wasn't as high as he said. I had thought he'd known enough not to lie to me. Perhaps he'll learn.
8:01 am
Third in a week.
Another telepath.

This time an adult, named Charles Xavier. He runs an Institute for "gifted" students up on Graymalkin Drive. When he said "gifted", he meant for individuals like himself and myself. People with abilities.

That girl, Jean Grey, is one of his students. He didn't seem to be happy to know she threatened me. I wouldn't be either, if I was continually striving to make my students understand we all have to live in peace, love, and understanding.

He invited me to join his Institute. I don't know if I want to. My parents would have to find out about my abilities. Again, I'm unsure about wanting them to find out or not. I'll have to think it all over.
Saturday, April 26th, 2003
9:28 pm
Twice in one week.
I met a girl with talents similar to my own. A telepath named Jean Grey. She threatened to "use force" if I didn't stop scanning the minds of people around me.

Excuse me while I quiver in fear.

I'm a little surprised that someone else with my talents would be so hypocritical. Nice and warm with her speaking voice, cool and threatening in her mind.

People don't change, do they?
5:54 pm
Books
Now that I've gotten all my books in order, here's an inventory of my bookshelves.

Tessa's BookshelfCollapse )

Current Mood: pleased
Friday, April 25th, 2003
10:27 pm
The wonders of meditation.
Boring class, as usual. Am I surprised? Not really.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening meditating. It is quite nice and relaxing, actually. One of the few activities aside from reading that I thoroughly enjoy. I'll have to thank my mother for suggesting I take it up.

I must have been meditating for several hours, because when I opened my eyes to actually look around the room, it was dark outside. I must have been rathered relaxed. I feel considerably less tired than earlier, however.

Current Mood: contemplative
12:37 am
...
I ran into Kieran at school today. He was reading The Art of War. The very book I mentioned to him the other day.

I had a thought, so I scanned his mind.

The boy has a crush on me.

Unbelieveable. And he's not going to stop trying to 'get through' to me either.

I'm going to go bury my head in the Baghavad Gita now. Almost done reading it, then I'll move onto the Ramayana.
Thursday, April 24th, 2003
12:59 am
Wasted time.
I went to see this... 'Identity' movie. What a waste of time. I thought my headaches would go away if I stopped thinking about them, but they didn't. What a horrible movie. There could have been several improvements. Casting, for one.

Outside the theatre I ran into Kieran, again. Either that boy has the Luck of the Irish, or he's following me around. Or it's just coincidence. His friend Avery was there too. That little... he called me 'oddball'. And not even directly to me. He thought it! I mentioned to him I heard it. I'm sure he was surprised.

They're planning something. They both think I don't realize it, but they're shouting it in their thoughts, like they're begging me to know. Well, now I do. I hope that's what they wanted. Can't say I'm terribly impressed, really.

I think I'll go to bed now.

Current Mood: sleepy
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
1:55 pm
The past few days.
So I was at school, in the cafeteria the other day. Listening to people gossip. Petty, disgusting people. All of them. When I was peeking around, someone -- his name is Jonothon -- felt me touching his mind. I ran into him and his girlfriend later at the bookstore. They're both like me. They called it... telepathy. This Irish boy I met said that there were other gifted people. He said he was one of them. He was, of course, telling the truth. I'd know if he was lying.

On the positive side, I got perfect on the math test yesterday. Again.

I picked up some new books. I found three books on religious philosophy at Bay Books. I bought them. I also picked up copies of The Art of War, Dante's Divine Comedy, and Plato's Republic. I placed an order for my books.

Oh. Apparently, according to this 'Jonothon', there's a place for people with our... differences to train. I haven't found out where it is yet. Should I find out more?

Current Mood: awake
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